Why New Year Resolutions Don't Last

The notebook was tucked away but was within easy reach.

I reached for it, buzzing with the anticipation and euphoria that only comes at the start of a new year.

My pen flew across the page. Goal after goal. Dream after dream. Setting out clearly and passionately how I wanted to evolve over the next year.

It was beautiful.

Intoxicating.

Satiated, I lay back on my pillow, closed my eyes and allowed that bubble of excitement to form enticing images in my mind.

This was going to be my year.

The year it all came together.

It was then I decided to flip back through the pages of my now virtually full notebook.

The dawning of reality was akin to the soaking the neighbourhood kids decided to give me way back, when they jumped out on me on my way home and soaked me in some disgusting cold concoction that included guinea pig poo and itching powder!

I'd done this before.

Many many times.

Almost word for word.

Year after year.

The dreams. The goals. All written with the same enthusiasm, but virtually all unmet.

This hit me hard. The floodgates opened and suddenly my mind was awash the normal self sabotaging thoughts.

"I'm not good enough" 

"I don't deserve it"

"I don't have what it takes"

Oh boy, was I wallowing in self pity.

I'd plateaued. I'd had the most awesome career. Achieved well more than was expected of me. Managed big teams, multiple million pound budgets, been to Downing Street, spoke at the House of Lords, raised €16m for my first business venture...

Until the chink.

They say that a mouse can enter your home through the tiniest of gaps. Once in, they make themselves at home and multiply at a rate of knots.

So, we protect our houses. We do what we can to stop the mice entering. The same effort we make to keep out burglars.

So why don't we do the same with our minds?

Why do we allow self limiting thoughts to stop us living our best lives?

New Year Resolutions. So easy to set. We're buzzing with that warm fuzzy glow that comes with all the Christmas festivities. We're on a high. We look to the new year with optimism. A surety that the coming year will be better. We're so fired up we know we can achieve anything.

We set ambitious goals. We're high on all the inspirational quotes that are flooding the internet. We want to achieve greatness, but spread love, kindness, happiness and peace too. We don't want success at any cost. 

So where does it all go wrong?

We all know the stats. In fact many people don't even bother with New Year Resolutions because they know - they expect - to fail.

So, let's start with the facts. A New Year Resolution is a goal. We create them because there's an aspect - or maybe 2 or 3 - of our lives that we want to change

They are easy to set.

But, just exactly the same as setting up in business, once the initial euphoria has worn off, the going gets tough.

We hit a challenge, maybe we make it through the first one, but then another one comes and another. Before we know it, life carries on and our goals and ambitions are forgotten.

The chink appears and we inherently let in all those self sabotaging beliefs to flood our being and we slink back to the soft gentle caress of our comfort zones.

But our goals, dreams, vision for life are possible.

In fact they're almost certainly probable, if we can just take the time they deserve, to set them up right and choose to believe - that we are capable - that we do deserve them.

So, how do we do it?

  • Dig deep. Why do we want it? We need to keep asking this question so we get below the surface. It's got to be really meaningful if it's going to keep us motivated. Going to keep us taking sustained action - that's relevant and moves us closer to our goals.
  • Check in and confront the fears we have about it. What's stopping us from believing we're worthy? Deserve it? Can handle the reactions we get from other people along the way? What keeps us locked in those negative thoughts and behaviours that makes us resist long term change?
  • Think about the challenges that lie ahead. We know it's not going to be easy - if it was, we'd have already done it! But, what obstacles might get in the way? It's so important to recognise these up front, because we can plan how we're going to deal with them. They'll have a much greater negative impact if they just suddenly appear out of the blue and we'll quite probably feel like we've hit a brick wall and that it's "a sign" we should give up - it's not meant to be. 
  • What do we need in order to accomplish it? Do we need tools? equipment? new skills? assistance?
  • Who do we need to be to achieve them? Let's look at those who've achieved the goals we want. What characteristics do they have? What is it about them that has led them to achieve that goal? We can then choose to adopt them too.
  • What are the actions we need to take? In what order? You wouldn't throw all the ingredients in the oven, before mixing them together in a specific order. The same is for any of our goals. There's a process. What steps do we need to take first? How can we ensure we take them consistently? How do we integrate them in to our busy lives where so much of what we do is automated and well established?  
  • How will we stay accountable? What can we put in to place to keep going? Not give in? Break through our upper limits? Ensure we don't slope back to our normal behaviours and the familiarity of our comfort zones? If our goals really stretch us, how can we find the right person to help us?
  • What reviews can we build in so we recognise and acknowledge the progress we're making? So we build our confidence - we know if we've done one thing, we can do the next... we can build momentum and a sense of satisfaction, pride and belief. 

Time is our most precious commodity.

All that we have is right here today.

It's a day we can just get through or it's one we can exchange for something that our future selves will thank us for.

When it finally dawned on me that my new year resolutions were the same year after year. I was horrified at how life was passing me by. Yes, I was happy, yes I was succeeding, yes I had a good life. But I wasn't fulfilled. Wasn't driven by passion and purpose and I wanted more.

I felt a gap in my life and wanted to make a difference.

That was the year I joined my first mastermind. Got my first coach.

My life changed. My business changed. 

When you work with a coach they not only help you stay accountable - something we all need when we work for ourselves as we don't have that big boss breathing down our backs! But they see things in you that you don't see yourself.

2020 has been a great year for me. I've collaborated with the best and launched new services that I'm totally passionate about. But, I've also seen those gremlins... those self sabotaging thoughts that effect my behaviour - that keep me expecting rejection, forcing me to push all the time, and I don't like them one little bit. They threaten the utter joy I've experienced as well as the potential for more.

I'm absolutely resolute about what I need to do, who I need to be and most importantly why.

Where Do You Want To Take Your Business? 

If you want to make a change, grow your business. If you've not created your vision, don't have a strategy or framework, need accountability or just the skills, guidance and wisdom from someone who has been there and done it - many many times - then get in touch.

You can work with me in so many ways, according to where you are now and where you want to be.

I've the Planet Peacock Business Success Club - which is all about bringing women together who want to make a difference, who want more, want to be more, want to raise other women up, create opportunities for others and give back - it's a real cause, but also comes with a library of business and personal development workbooks and, if you choose, accountability and inspiration through a private facebook group. 

You can choose to be part of this for just £29pm at the moment! 

If you want to level up your business then you may prefer to work with me on a one to one basis so you reach your goals more quickly and with the benefit of my extensive business experience and wisdom, avoid many pitfalls. When you work with me on a one to one, I'm on your team - I'm practical and hands on.

Business Mastery may well be the best place for you to start, or if you've a bigger business and bigger goals you may want to look at Maximum Impact - which even includes a TV Ad quality promotional video for your business - if you're great, you need to stand out in the most compelling way.

If you really want to push your business to a serious new level, but recognise that your day to day busyness just gets in the way and you want the space to re-connect with your purpose and re-establish a long term vision, then you should take a look at my Business and Visibility Retreats. In-person, in stunning locations, you can get away and get all you need to build your roadmap to success - along with a set of highest quality brand photos to help you put yourself "out there".

And, if you know that you need to get more visible... that you've been relying on library images... home-made videos... recognise that your current media does not match where you sit in the marketplace, then I've brand photoshoots and video packages that will instantly give you impact, raise the perception of your professionalism and quality as well as give you confidence to get more visible and raise more awareness.

You can of course, just book a free call to chat. See how I can help you achieve your goals. You've nothing to lose and loads to gain!

Whatever you decide to do, I urge you not to settle (look out for a book I've co-authored on this coming out end of Jan 2022) - life is just too short. Find your purpose. Follow your passion. Fill your life with joy - and that - well, that's success.

Less is always available - you don't have to settle for it now.

 


Why not take a few minutes just to watch my video on How To Set Goals For Success - it will save you hours!

You'll also find several other short videos on my youtube channel that show you "How Too...." - Be sure to subscribe, as Ill be adding more in the new year...

If you want to find out more about me, follow the link to watch my video on YouTube

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